Communication allows us to impart and exchange our thoughts, opinions and feelings through speech, writing or signs with the people around us. By doing so effectively, we are able to express and represent ourselves correctly and accurately, avoiding unnecessary misunderstandings which can be frustrating.
Personally, at this stage of my life, developing effective communication skills is probably all the more important as I am constantly meeting new people whom I have to work with (such as doing projects or carrying out experiments) or live with everyday (such as in hall). Also, as I proceed to enter the working society in the very near future, it would be to my advantage should I be able to articulate my ideas to my employers and colleagues in a befitting manner so as to have an enjoyable experience at work altogether.
I recall one recent incident with my younger brother, when I was home during one of the weekends (I stay in hall on weekdays). My family and I were watching the television and I was being engrossed in the programme when my brother kept bugging me with questions regarding my handphone as he was considering getting one like mine. I answered them with one or two-word answers, neither giving him much attention nor taking note of my tone and gestures. After several questions, he suddenly burst out in an injured tone saying, “Why do you talk to me like I’m an idiot!” and that finally got my head snapping away from the television set to his direction. I was genuinely shocked at his outburst and simply replied that I was not and had no intention of making him feel that way. I could tell that it did nothing to appease his anger and since he did not say anything else, I decided to keep quiet just to give him time to cool off. Looking back, I guess I should have been more tactful and not say things like “that’s rather obvious right (even in a chiding tone)” although I really meant no harm. I think I took it for granted that people close to me, especially someone as close as a brother, would not take offence at anything I say knowing me well and knowing that I would never hurt them in any way. Things would probably have been fine if I had just the sensitivity to turn my head in his direction so he could tell from my expression that I was chiding him in an affectionate and not a condescending manner.
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ReplyDeleteHi Wan Yu,
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with the sibling thing. I quarrel with my sister all the time, and sometimes I really feel that although we have the same parents, we come from different planets. It is so difficult, and that's why we have to LEARN to communicate with them. Learning was never easy to me. HA.
Anyways, I like that you included a personal incident to illustrate your point because I feel that as much as it is important to learn to communicate effectively in the workplace to further yourself in your career, it is to a huge extent, more important to use it to further develop the relationships you have with people you care about. We can't change the fact that life is short, so I guess we have to really make the best out of the relationships we have now. It is definitely easier said than done, but the least we could do is try.
I am like you too, in the sense that I am too frank sometimes. Like Moses always tells me, I have a default "black-face", and my tone is always on the offensive side, even when I joke (I argue that real comedians keep a straight face when joking, but to no avail). I guess you can have comfort in the knowing that you're not alone, and we can help each other with this problem!
Nice post! :)
Sarah NLL
Hello Wan Yu,
ReplyDeleteI do share the same experience with my siblings when i was younger. When my brother was helping me with my homework, we will ALWAYS end up with an arguement and non of my school work will get done. I guess i was being over sensitive when my brother raise his voice while teaching me. Maybe the communication skills with my brother was really really inefective back then.
Ayu
This is a very good post, Wan Yu. I like the way you address effective communication in general then tie that specifically to your own experience.
ReplyDeleteThe example of you and your brother has certainly resonated well with your readers. Thanks for sharing this with us!
Wanyu, I don't have any siblings so I can't really identify with your experience. Maybe you can send your brother to sheares over for a few days so that I can play with him.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, I think its good you illustrated your point with a clear example. I feel that it was a very personal post and actually felt as if you spoke to me about that event. However I am not sure if we can use informal terms such as 'bugging'? Maybe we can clear this doubt in class. See you!
Hi Wanyu,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such an insightful experience! It takes effort to relate a personal incident online, and I feel that you have done it well.
It is indeed important to listen to others when they are trying to communicate with us, lest they think that we are not interested in them. I have learnt an important lesson of looking at the person when he/she is talking to you from your post.
As much as I like the narrative manner which you have approached the topic, I think that it will be very helpful if you were to use more concise sentences. Shorter sentences do help readers to follow the story more easily. Besides that, more fitting verbs could be used. For example, it would be interesting if you could show, in action, how your head "snapped back" to face your brother. =D
Thanks for the personal sharing!
-Daniel-
Hi Wan Yu,
ReplyDeleteHaving also a younger brother, I can really understand the problems which would occur inadvertently whenever there seems to be a communication breakdown between the both of us especially during our teenage years (gosh, I feel old writing this. haha). Small misunderstandings can even lead to days of ignoring each other and sometimes our parents were forced to step in to prevent any further conflict between us.
Sometimes I even feel that communicating with our own family is even harder than communicating with other people. I guess we really have to adapt when communicating with different groups of people as each group needs a different kind of communication approach.
This is a really good post though and I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks and can't wait for your future posts.
Wee Siong
Thanks WanYu :) Didn't get to catch you on tv for Chingay!! They switched the channels halfway. :( Can we request for a life performance? Maybe you can perform live for us in class!!
ReplyDeletehearts,
sarah nll
Sarah this is so unfair. You are giving her hearts instead of giving them to me. I shall snatch your hearts back from wanyu.
ReplyDeleteHey Daniel!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the constructive advice! I know my shortcoming lies in being too long-winded and tending to form sentences that go on forever. Thanks for giving me an example on how I could have written alternatively. I will bear that in mind when I write in the future! (:
Hey Brad, Sarah, Ayu, Moses and Wee Siong!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading my post and sharing your thoughts and opinions with me! (:
To Wee Siong: I TOTALLY agree with you that one has to adapt when communicating with different groups of people. Sometimes, I feel as if I possess multiple personalities with different people such as with my family and with very diverse groups of friends! But I guess that is just one of the challenges in life that makes it interesting! (:
Oh, I forgot to add:
ReplyDeleteTo Moses: Stop being so possessive of Sarah's love! :D